Black History Month

The month is almost over and I've finally decided to right something about it. I really just don't know how to fully articulate my argument, and have been debating within myself on just how to word what I have to say.

Black History Month.

So much history. Many times we only focus on the achievements. This month follows the Inauguration of the first black president, but there's still so much history to sift through. There's a new book out about how therapy is so long overdue for the black community. I'd thought this very point over for years. Culture is something that's passed down from one generation to another. We have inherited the good with the bad like DNA. As I look over my predominately black community I see the ills we like to banner with, "Get over it". But if black people can simply "Get Over" the past...why haven't we done it yet?

The fact that as a community we can't get over, what I feel, is a self hatred so deep it permeates into almost ever facet of our culture...I feel as though we should instead try and cure what ails. Well...what ails?

On Sunday I went to church and saw a delightful tribute to an organization of black youths who shouted in the middle of service, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm a strong black man, I'm a strong black women..." I teared up because it sounded as if they were trying to convince themselves instead of quietly and securely knowing that these affirmations were truths. Even I myself, as I try to further my education and climb the ranks of respectability grapple with these same things. I walk about with this quiet confidence even though each rejection shoots me like a bullet. Often times I want credit for good things done, even though society might label my personal achievments with mediocrity. As proud as I am of my achievements, and as much as I shouldn't give a damn what anyone else thinks, I do. At times I wish I were held to the same measure as others who've grown up secure in their own cultural identity, with mom and dad always there cheering their success. What to do. I must let go of my own personal history in order to reach a new one; a better one.

I have met many blacks who don't even like to talk about the negativity that somehow just can't be shaken from the American black experience. They just want to be seen as individuals as if history hasn't brought you up into this race to carry all of the burdens and gifts that come. So, as I continue to celebrate Black History, and ponder not only the achievments, but the work still needing to be done...I look at my own history and continue to clean all the messes that need to be addressed in my own life.