Saturday, February 20, 2010

Friends...How Many of Us Have Them?

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about friends. Having a good friends is soothing to the soul. Knowing you have someone who is there for you, rooting for you, and hoping the best for you is an incredible thing, but also a very rare thing.

My life has become quite the petri dish for determining true friends versus fake friends. I thought this process in my life ended after adolescence...but apparently is ongoing and lifelong. As much as I'd like to vent, even under the cloak of anonymity I can't betray the trust of a friend, even those who could give two shits. I'm just loyal that way...

UGH, why couldn't God have just made me a heartless bitch.

This weekend marked an especial realization that I do have wonderful people in my life (besides my mother) who care about me and are rooting for me, hoping the best for me, and intend to be there for me through ups and most importantly downs. I wish everyone friends like these. Because TRUE many of us have them?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Smile....What's the Use in Crying :)

I don't know anyone swimming in more shit than me, and no matter where I go, I'm still the most fabulous bitch of them all.


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What an Amazing Year

What a fucking fantastic year! Despite having the worst economic situtaion since nobody alive know when, and the passing of the Greatest Artist of All Time...this was a pretty phenomenal year.

In January I saw the first black man become President.

I don't even need to say anymore about that.

Vampires captured a nation. More icons died this summer than I don't know what! We lost a Kennedy, Ms. Buns of Steel, and Michael. For Christmas the Pope got knocked the fuck out! Oprah announced that she's ending her show as we know it and going to cable. Brittany Murphy died too young. A Nigerian is now on the terrorist list with Al Queda. There was a diabolical black serial killer. Everybody found out how much stoking Tiger's been doing. (And sadly to say...too many people were addicted to hearing and talking about it...)Dick Cheney talked entirely too much, and Sarah Palin is still dumb (she even put a book out to prove just how her own words.) As if a Black President wasn't enough, Disney put out a Black Princess...(I went it see it...wasn't impressed.) They sent the parents of the boy in the bubble to jail....and they soaked up every piece of camera time they could. The economy ate jobs like the Cookie Monster eats Chips Ahoy, and Showtime actually came out with two good HBO quality shows. The Sex and the City movie came out...and women all over the country got dressed up and went to see it...and it was AWESOME! (Even though...personally...if a guy stands me up at the alter we can't ever speak again...)

What an amazing year.

with a year like this one, who knows what 2010 has in store? I can't wait to see.

Friday, December 18, 2009

It's Been a Long Time

It's been a long time, but I haven't forgotten. So many wonderful and so many awful things have been happening, it's a wonder I'm still sane, let alone able to write on this blog. I've been reading, writing, (*drinking), and doing all of the requisite activities people have who are going through a lot.

What does it seem that the Holidays bring about this whole weight of garbage? This recession isn't helping any at all. Many are STRESSED the hell out, and I am no exception. Overwhelming feelings of all the things I have to do have me feeling as if everyday is an out-of-body experience. I'll be glad when the holidays are over and everything can just go back to normal.

Some of the wonderful reasons that I haven't been able to jog on and rant as often is because I'm become quite the social butterfly and have next to no time to sit down and write on this blog. I mean...I am writing reviews for a literature site...but aside from that...a diva is OUT! (Macy's has become my new sanctuary...)

Well, with the death of Chris Henry, the scandals of Tiger Woods, and holiday shopping there need not be anything more stated.

Happy Holidays...and stay stressed free.

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Last night I went out with my girls and watched the highly anticipated premier of "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire".

I am a HUGE fan of the book. The movie...not so much.

"Push" is the gritty story about Clariece "Precious" Jones who is illiterate, sexually, physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused by both her mother and father. Ths contemporary "The Color Purple" is brutal, honest, eye-opening, and inspirational. The film is not.

I was surprised at how funny the movie was. In the book, Mary Johnson - Precious' mother, is a heinous monster. Comedienne Mo'nique played the role realistically even if comical. I expected to cry my eyes out and instead I cracked up laughing. The movie is a sugar-coated version of the book but it will still leave those who hadn't read the book feeling the abuse Precious endures.

Another disappointing aspect of the book was that if took some of the serious themes and almost made it cartoonish. Myself and many of my friends felt we saw a lot of our own mothers in Precious' mother. I don't think there's a person in America who hasn't seen a black woman beat the living shit out her child. The physical violence Precious endures is common in the Black community. A cultrual flaw that many praise instead of correct. The sexual abuse Precious encountered that was a dibilitating force in her life was eluded to. I understand that in order to bring the movie to the masses they couldn't go that deep...but still.

The acting was very good throughout, with Mo'nique leading the pact. As good as her performance was, I can't call it Oscar worthy. All of the characters were surprisingly good considering the heft of the material.

Synopsis: If you read the book, be prepared to be disappointed. If you didn't - you'll still get enough of the grime to feel moved.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Is Trick or Treating Dead?

It could be that I live in crazy ass New York, or the fact that I live in a high rise apartment, or just the fact that I'm childless and loving it...but it just seems that trick or treating has been on the decline for a few years now.

I grew up trick or treating like most kids. I would dress up as a fairy princess, or a biblical character, or cleopatra, and fill the largest pillow cases I could find with candy. The next day I would take a zip-lock bag of candy to school and swap unwanted candy for more desirable candies from classmates. I sleep with my candy, steal some of my sister's candy, and try to hide my candy from my mother who always seemed too willing to throw the candy in the trash.

I remember Halloween as a special time of year when all of the neighborhood's babies, toddlers, children, pre-teens, and teenagers would dress up and partake in the community outreach farmality of begging their neighbors for candy. Halloween was my second favorite holiday on the Christmas. Each year I would notice that there were less and less children trick-or treat, of any age. I've often attributed to all of the reports of razorblades found in candy apples and poised stuffed in candies. It also could be the ever looming fear of some psychopathic pedophile who waits all year to deliver a trick to unsuspecting children in search of treats.

One year, at about the age of 13 or 14 I discovered where so many children had gone. Why, they'd gone to the local mall! How fantastic! The stores of the mall had all come together and where giving out stale miniscule pieces of candy that could barely fill a plastic jack-o-lantern. Oh, the horror! My parents would buy boxes of candy only to find a mere two or three handfuls given to the only two or three children brave enough to ring doorbells.

Last year the only costumes I saw were on the subway. Drunken adults on their way to over-the-top alcohol binges summoned quite a few stares and laughs evn from jaded New Yorkers. What happened to trick or treating? Halloween has definitely become an adult holiday with women dressing up as sexy witches with see through boustiers and men wearing fake dildos that read "Kiss me, I'm Irish". It almost seems as children aren't safe after 4:00pm! Happy Hour has started, so let the games begin!

Maybe, just maybe I'll seem some kids out trick or treating. With this economy, a pillowcase full of candy might be the only meal some of these kids can get. Whether trick or treating makes a resurgance or not, I'm not buying any damn candy.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Where Did I Hear That Again?

My current obsession is This website is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!

I learned of this website well over a year ago. My boyfriend and I were having breakfast at a cafe in midtown where we overheard two hookers giving each other a progress report of the night and sharing prostitute tales. We ate our breakfast in awkward silence. It was impossible to speak over or ignore the raunchy conversation happening right next to us.

My boyfriend told me of this site. It sat in my memory bank as a great NY tidbit, and nothing more.

Yesterday I was at work, bored out of my fucking mind, and decided to look up the site. To my surprise, the site was blocked through the campus web filter. Reason stated: tasteless and offensive. I've seen a lot of content blocked at work, but never for this reason. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I ran home, visited the site, and proceeded to site there for the rest of the night entertaining myself with real life quotes from anonymous New Yorkers.

Examples of Current Favorites:

Although I Do Recognize a Treasure Chest When I See One
Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you're a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I'm just a lesbian.

--Crema Restaurante, 17th & 6th

Girl: Are bums allowed to be vegetarian?

--Chipotle, 6th Ave between 21st & 22nd

Overheard by: Rabid-Panda

Mom Used up Her Niceties on the First Few Kids
Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don't wake me up when I'm sleeping!
Mom: Fine. I'll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you.

--Brooklyn bound Q train

Feminism Didn't Die, It's Living Comfortably as a Stay-at-Home Mom in White Plains
Girl #1: I am like, totally addicted to Days of our Lives.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I am so fucked up, because this one character totally got fired and they put another guy in his place. I can't even watch him, because, you know, he's not the same guy.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really fucked up my TV viewing schedule. I mean, what am I going to watch, one of the judge shows?
Girl #2: Well, you could go to class or study instead....
Girl #1: I don't need to. I'm studying to be a second wife. That girl's shoes are so cute. They would match my bag. Excuse me, where'd you get those shoes?
Girl #3: My husband.
Girl #1: See, class dismissed.

--53rd St & 3rd Ave

The Buddha Was a Tough Kid to Raise
Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

--Union Square

Witty Repartee Is One of the First Things to Go When the Brain Doesn't Get Enough Glucose
Anorexic JAP: What, you couldn't afford an entire outfit?
Obese woman in Britney Spears get-up: What, bitch, you couldn't afford an entire meal?
Anorexic JAP: [silence]

--Uptown E train
(JAP - Jewish American Princess)