Black History Month

The month is almost over and I've finally decided to right something about it. I really just don't know how to fully articulate my argument, and have been debating within myself on just how to word what I have to say.

Black History Month.

So much history. Many times we only focus on the achievements. This month follows the Inauguration of the first black president, but there's still so much history to sift through. There's a new book out about how therapy is so long overdue for the black community. I'd thought this very point over for years. Culture is something that's passed down from one generation to another. We have inherited the good with the bad like DNA. As I look over my predominately black community I see the ills we like to banner with, "Get over it". But if black people can simply "Get Over" the past...why haven't we done it yet?

The fact that as a community we can't get over, what I feel, is a self hatred so deep it permeates into almost ever facet of our culture...I feel as though we should instead try and cure what ails. Well...what ails?

On Sunday I went to church and saw a delightful tribute to an organization of black youths who shouted in the middle of service, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm a strong black man, I'm a strong black women..." I teared up because it sounded as if they were trying to convince themselves instead of quietly and securely knowing that these affirmations were truths. Even I myself, as I try to further my education and climb the ranks of respectability grapple with these same things. I walk about with this quiet confidence even though each rejection shoots me like a bullet. Often times I want credit for good things done, even though society might label my personal achievments with mediocrity. As proud as I am of my achievements, and as much as I shouldn't give a damn what anyone else thinks, I do. At times I wish I were held to the same measure as others who've grown up secure in their own cultural identity, with mom and dad always there cheering their success. What to do. I must let go of my own personal history in order to reach a new one; a better one.

I have met many blacks who don't even like to talk about the negativity that somehow just can't be shaken from the American black experience. They just want to be seen as individuals as if history hasn't brought you up into this race to carry all of the burdens and gifts that come. So, as I continue to celebrate Black History, and ponder not only the achievments, but the work still needing to be done...I look at my own history and continue to clean all the messes that need to be addressed in my own life.

Finding an Apartment in New York City

I once read a book by Tama Janowitz called, Slaves of New York. In this book, Ms. Janowitz described all of these people who were held into relationships they couldn't stand, couldn't leave their jobs and follow thier passions, couldn't even start semesters of college because they were slaves to New York City rent. People in other parts of the country really don't understand this. This is a city were incomes in certain fields do pay more than the rest of the country, but if you are not earning in a certain area....you are a broke ass fabulous diva!!!

In my last post I wrote about my break-up. Although we're living amicably together...it's about time to leave. Nothing can shake you to the core like knowing that your living arrangement is unsecure. Now, I am a librarian...part-time, and I am a student at night. I don't make enough to pay $1,000+ a month in rent. I've looked at rooms, but I left the dorm so I wouldn't have to put up with that mess!!!

To let you in on a little of what I've been going through...I've provided real Craigslist advertisements. Mind you...I've put my minimum asking price as $500 and my maximum as $700. This is for sharing aparments...and yes...pictures are provided.

1. $550 BEAUTIFUL FURNISHED ROOM FOR RENT IN QUEENS, AVAILABLE NOW!!! (WOODSIDE)

PLEASE READ THE ADD VERY WELL BEFORE YOU CONTACT ME SO WE DON'T NEED TO GO ON THE SAME CONVERSATION AGAIN. The room is medium size 8'X 10' in a 3 bedroom apartment on a second floor, located in a very nice, safe and quiet neighborhood, 68th street bet 50th & 51st ave, only 12 minutes walking or 5 minutes bus ride (Q45) to the 7 train station @ 69 street or 2 more minutes in the same bus to 74 street for E, F, R, V, G, and 7 trains, 20 minutes to Manhattan. Furnished with a twin size bed, desk, chair, dresser, tv, high speed wireless internet access, window and closet. UTILITIES INCLUDED. For ONE responsible person who works or studies, NO SMOKING, NO drugs, NO male visitors, and please be VERY CLEAN. If you think you can not follow these rules, please don't waist your time contacting me. For more information you can email or call 718 791 1290. Hablamos Español - What get's me about this post is the attitude! She starts off with, "Please read this very well so I don't have to explain this again." Those of us who know computer lingo is very aware that the Caps mean she is yelling this to us. I'm already pissed off, and not thinking what we have any future as roommates who'll get along. This is probably an add I would have responded to, if her attitude hadn't been so shitty. I can imagine this attitude coming back to me if I ask her to wash her dishes so I can cook or some other random household discrepancy that can lead to an automatic misunderstanding. This one...folks...is definitely not for me.

2. $700 FEMALE ROOMMATE WANTED-LONGTERM (Financial District)

***PLEASE EMAIL ME AND CONFIRM IF YOUR COMING FOO OPEN HOUSE OR SET UP ANOTHER TIME TO COME BY AND SEE THE PLACE**** ****OPEN HOUSE SUNDAY FEB 1ST FROM NOON TO 2:00PM**** FOR LOFT ROOM AND WILL BE SHARING WITH TWO OTHER GIRLS IN THREE BEDROOM APARTMENT AVAILABLE: Immediately Address: 33 GOLD STREET APT 301(DOWNTOWN) Direction: 2 or 3 to Fulton street stop A, C, to Broadway Nassau E or 9 to world trade center 4 and 5 to Fulton street N and R to City Hall SUBWAY: 2,3,1,9,A,C,E,4,5,N AND R YOUR REQUIREMENTS: -MUST BE VERY CLEAN AND RESPOSIBLE -NON SMOKER -FRIENDLY -VEGETARIAN-I DONT LIKE ANYONE COOKING MEAT IN THE APT AS I AM VEGETARIAN -WILL BE NEEDING ONE MONTHS RENT AND ONE MONTH DEPOSIT TOTAL MOVE IN COST $1400.00 -UTILITIES ARE ABOUT $100.00 EVERY MONTH PER PERSON(FULL CABLE, ELEC. AND HIGH SPEED INTERNET & MAID SERVICE) -NO PETS FACITLITES IN APARTMENT -FULLY CARPETED -HIGH CEILINGS, AIRCONDITIONED -LAUNDRY ON EACH FLOOR -APT IS FURNISHED -TV/DIGITAL CABLE AND HIGH SPEED INTERNET -24 HOUR GROCERY STORE UNDER THE BLDG -DOORMAN BUILDING YOU WILL BE SHARING APT WITH ME AND MY ROOMMATE. MYSELF,32,WORK IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY AND MY ROOMMATE WORKS IN FASHION INDUSRTY AS WELL . - Doesn't like meat being cooked in the house!!! I have to be hungry for her nose!!!?? And the picture...I'm not sure what the hell I'm looking at. What is this...a flooded out basement? I'm not feeling it.

3. $500 Need to rent a couch for a bit to get on your feet? We have one! (east village)

We are two gay guys looking for someone to help out with the rent for a while. We're looking for someone who would be willing to rent out our sofa for a couple of months to make ends meet. We are both very laid back, responsible, considerate and clean. We both work nights, so we arise around noon. If this is something you would be interested in please hit me back for details. Thanks Michael - Michael must be crazy as hell!! Who wants to rent a couch for $500???!!!I'm looking at this couch, and thinking...there's no way in hell I'm going to work all day, commute all over NYC, go to class at night, study, and then sleep on his raggedy ass couch!!!! Hell to No!!!

4. $735 NEED someone to fill a room by Feb 15!! (Hoboken)

>(I've posted this already, but the date has changed. Sorry about the repost!) Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well. Due to an unfortunate mix-up, I'm leaving my apartment on the 1st, and I'm going to need someone to fill my room from Feb 1st and on. If you can move in before the 15th, that's great. The rent is 735, and the utilities are usually about 100 a month. And there's also a 1 1/2 month security deposit that you get back when you move out. We have FiOS which is AWESOME. The internet is SO fast, and the cable (DVR, too) is great. Huge TV, futon, roof access, great shower, everything was just redone in October, so the place looks great. Usually quite clean. Two other 24 year old guys will be living there after I leave named Ryan and Paul. Good guys, rent is on time. If you want to see the place, let me know. Sorry about the crappy pictures. The kitchen is great, has a dishwasher, and a big fridge. Nice big stove too, and lots of cabinet space. I can fit my twin bed, a dresser, night table, TV shelf, and big ol desk in my room. There's a laundromat in the building, great Chinese down the street, and Washington st is the best. SO! If you wanna live in Hoboken, let me know! Hope everyone is safe and well and good luck in your search! :) - There is no way I'm going to give this slob $735 a month to live in this dump!!! What is he thinking? I'd never let anyone know I lived like this, if I did, and certainly wouldn't advertise on Craigslist. If this person is so crazy to think that a reasonable person would give him $735 a month, he definitely could not be my roommate!