Is Trick or Treating Dead?

It could be that I live in crazy ass New York, or the fact that I live in a high rise apartment, or just the fact that I'm childless and loving it...but it just seems that trick or treating has been on the decline for a few years now.

I grew up trick or treating like most kids. I would dress up as a fairy princess, or a biblical character, or cleopatra, and fill the largest pillow cases I could find with candy. The next day I would take a zip-lock bag of candy to school and swap unwanted candy for more desirable candies from classmates. I sleep with my candy, steal some of my sister's candy, and try to hide my candy from my mother who always seemed too willing to throw the candy in the trash.

I remember Halloween as a special time of year when all of the neighborhood's babies, toddlers, children, pre-teens, and teenagers would dress up and partake in the community outreach farmality of begging their neighbors for candy. Halloween was my second favorite holiday on the Christmas. Each year I would notice that there were less and less children trick-or treat, of any age. I've often attributed to all of the reports of razorblades found in candy apples and poised stuffed in candies. It also could be the ever looming fear of some psychopathic pedophile who waits all year to deliver a trick to unsuspecting children in search of treats.

One year, at about the age of 13 or 14 I discovered where so many children had gone. Why, they'd gone to the local mall! How fantastic! The stores of the mall had all come together and where giving out stale miniscule pieces of candy that could barely fill a plastic jack-o-lantern. Oh, the horror! My parents would buy boxes of candy only to find a mere two or three handfuls given to the only two or three children brave enough to ring doorbells.

Last year the only costumes I saw were on the subway. Drunken adults on their way to over-the-top alcohol binges summoned quite a few stares and laughs evn from jaded New Yorkers. What happened to trick or treating? Halloween has definitely become an adult holiday with women dressing up as sexy witches with see through boustiers and men wearing fake dildos that read "Kiss me, I'm Irish". It almost seems as children aren't safe after 4:00pm! Happy Hour has started, so let the games begin!

Maybe, just maybe I'll seem some kids out trick or treating. With this economy, a pillowcase full of candy might be the only meal some of these kids can get. Whether trick or treating makes a resurgance or not, I'm not buying any damn candy.

Where Did I Hear That Again?

My current obsession is www.overheardinnewyork.com. This website is absolutely HILARIOUS!!!!

I learned of this website well over a year ago. My boyfriend and I were having breakfast at a cafe in midtown where we overheard two hookers giving each other a progress report of the night and sharing prostitute tales. We ate our breakfast in awkward silence. It was impossible to speak over or ignore the raunchy conversation happening right next to us.

My boyfriend told me of this site. It sat in my memory bank as a great NY tidbit, and nothing more.

Yesterday I was at work, bored out of my fucking mind, and decided to look up the site. To my surprise, the site was blocked through the campus web filter. Reason stated: tasteless and offensive. I've seen a lot of content blocked at work, but never for this reason. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I ran home, visited the site, and proceeded to site there for the rest of the night entertaining myself with real life quotes from anonymous New Yorkers.

Examples of Current Favorites:

Although I Do Recognize a Treasure Chest When I See One
Mother with little girl: Excuse me. My daughter wants to know if you're a pirate.
Woman wearing bandana: No. I'm just a lesbian.

--Crema Restaurante, 17th & 6th


Girl: Are bums allowed to be vegetarian?

--Chipotle, 6th Ave between 21st & 22nd

Overheard by: Rabid-Panda


Mom Used up Her Niceties on the First Few Kids
Small child in stroller: Mommy, why did you wake me up? Don't wake me up when I'm sleeping!
Mom: Fine. I'll leave you on the train and you can miss your stop and then the rats will get you.

--Brooklyn bound Q train


Feminism Didn't Die, It's Living Comfortably as a Stay-at-Home Mom in White Plains
Girl #1: I am like, totally addicted to Days of our Lives.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I am so fucked up, because this one character totally got fired and they put another guy in his place. I can't even watch him, because, you know, he's not the same guy.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, it's really fucked up my TV viewing schedule. I mean, what am I going to watch, one of the judge shows?
Girl #2: Well, you could go to class or study instead....
Girl #1: I don't need to. I'm studying to be a second wife. That girl's shoes are so cute. They would match my bag. Excuse me, where'd you get those shoes?
Girl #3: My husband.
Girl #1: See, class dismissed.

--53rd St & 3rd Ave



The Buddha Was a Tough Kid to Raise
Mother: Don't you ever do that again! [slaps child hard]
Child, calmly: Well, are you happy with yourself?

--Union Square


Witty Repartee Is One of the First Things to Go When the Brain Doesn't Get Enough Glucose
Anorexic JAP: What, you couldn't afford an entire outfit?
Obese woman in Britney Spears get-up: What, bitch, you couldn't afford an entire meal?
Anorexic JAP: [silence]

--Uptown E train
(JAP - Jewish American Princess)